On Muffins, Ovens, and Aging

A simple request to all ladies in the audience who are pregnant or might some day become pregnant. Could you please do your colleagues (particularly your male colleagues) a huge favor, and wear a big placard saying "Yes, I'm pregnant and you may offer your best wishes now" when you're ready for people to say something to you? A recently married co-worker of mine, for "medical reasons," suddenly could no longer lift heavy objects or be exposed to solvent fumes. While the reason for this was apparent to most of us, she said nothing, so we said nothing. Suddenly, out of the blue, she's been talking about her child to be, with no break in between. As a result, those of us who wanted to wish her well either missed our chance, or risked saying something too soon, which The Lovely Wife(tm) has informed me is a faux pas of such epic proportions that it would make a high school cafeteria food fight look like an evening at Martha Stewart's by comparison.

If impending fatherhood weren't enough to make me feel old, I just got an email from a friend who made aliyah back in my early college days. Her daughter, whom I remember as an infant, is now in the army. The picture of this girl who I remember picking up with one arm in uniform... Well, I'm gonna go buy some Geritol and yell at the kids on the front lawn now.